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Where Have You Been All My Life?

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The men in our lives. The men we date. The men we kiss. The men we sleep with. Yes, the men we love. Every woman knows that we are blind when we are in love. And it is when we are at our most vulnerable, that is when we ask ourselves.... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE? In our hearts, we truly believe he has been waiting JUST FOR US to come along so that the both of us can live happily ever after. THE FOLKS WHO LIVE ON THE HILL...sigh... Even when the RED FLAGS are glaring at us everywhere, we choose not to see them. My story. Some twenty years ago, I fell madly in love with an unavailable man. I knew the woman in his life and she and I would have many a conversation about his his many flaws and his many indiscretions. Still I fell...and I fell hard. I was one of 4 women. Obviously, the odds were stacked against me. But it was in that moment where I decided that I could end it all by slitting my wrists or I could become the best little private investigat...
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My "Deep As A Puddle" Life

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Spring is just around the corner. Forgive me for being morbid but there are more suicides committed in these early months of spring than there are during any other time of the year. Truth. Spring brings rain. Truth. Even as a child, I never danced or played in puddles. Childhood belief. Dirt can get mixed with rain and turn into mud and this thing called MUD might have made my leotards all spotty and filthy and/or GOD FORBID my little girl feet ALL wet. Then my mother would have been forced to kill me (metaphorically, of course) if  my leotards were ever to get mud all over them because I was careless or carefree enough to enjoy playing in the rain. Adult observation. It is my grown-up belief that there were a lot more worms in gardens and lawns in those springs of my youth than there are these days. Getting back to suicidal depression. When chronic depression takes over your life you yearn for the deep end. Even though playing and almost drowning in the d...
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Maggie and Milly and Molly and May and GAGA

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    Being of a certain age, I have measured my life out in Kennedy funerals. And also because I am of a certain age, it seems like all of my childhood idols are dying on me (dropping like flies) on an almost daily basis. In the past few weeks, Karl Lagerfeld, Lee Radziwell and Peter Tork. All gone. If ever there was a time in my life when I felt successful, it was those years when Lagerfeld took over the House of Chanel. All those gold chains, all those faux pearls, all those big earrings, all those quilted bags-we were high on all that luxury but most of all, we THOUGHT that this shallow, pearly world we were drowning in, well, it would last FOREVER. Time passed. Then came Grunge. Followed by Minimalism. If personal success was spelled for me by removing one ginormous, gold clip earring from one ear while answering my landline phone sitting on my boutique's desk...then failure certainly was defined by the sad knock on the door bringing minimalism into my ...
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